Letters to Kyoya
by ABTheAwesomist
Summary: Kyoya is here to answer your questions! Torturing IS encouraged!
1. Chapter 1

**I thought it'd be fun to do something like that... And it'll also help improve my IC skills! Two birds in one stone!**

Kyoya: *sigh* Dear readers, My name is Kyoya Tategami and I am here to *checks script* to reply to your letters that hopefully torture me and question my relationship with-WHAT THE HECK WHO WROTE THIS SCRIPT?!

Allison: *raises hand and grins madly* ME!

Kyoya: *takes out launcher and bey* YOU'LL PAY! 3! 2! 1!

Allison: *throws bey at Kyoya's face* Oh shut up. So basically Kyoya answers your questions, requests, dares, whatever. It doesn't matter if you torture him. I got insurance.

Kyoya: ...

**Review! Write to Kyoya!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Italic is letters, normal is Kyoya...I 'm having a lot of fun here.**

* * *

_KYOYA-KUN HELLO_

_My only question: ARE YOU, KYOYA TATEGAMI, SECRETLY GAY WITH NILE? Yes or no, I will accept no more, no less. ONLY YES OR NO._

_And you better say yes. You guys are my OTP._

_-ATNNM-_

_P.S. I took a picture of you and Nile at the park.. holding hands and shiz..._

Dear ATNNM,

...NO.

WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!

Go see a doctor, then.

Regarding your P.S., I have just one word for you.

PHOTOSHOP.

Yours Unsincerely,

Kyoya Tategami.

* * *

_Will you battle me and my Storm Leone145WB? Forewarning though, I've never lost a battle. This isn't a fake Beyblade, this is my real Bey, created by swapping parts around until I got just what I wanted. My Special Moves are like your's, only with water instead of wind. And I'm just as stubborn and proud as you are. Nobody messes with the Lioness. Lions are lazy and wait for the lionesses to come back. The lionesses do all the hunting, so really, the lion isn't the King of Beast, he's just a lion, while the lioness is the Queen of Beasts. Think about it that way, little Lion King. Be ready to face the real predator of all things in the wild._

Dear Song,

I accept. Get ready for defeat!

Oh really? Lionesses hunt weaker prey, lions fight their equals for territory and ownership of the pride. I fight my equals, thus become stronger. You fight the weak. Think about it.

About to defeat you,

Kyoya Tategami

* * *

_Ahh, Kyoyo_  
_Let's see - are you gay?_  
_Are you gay with Nile?_  
_You know you're gay with Nile_  
_We all know_  
_WE KNOW_  
_AND WE WON'T LET YOU GO UNTIL YOU ADMIT IT_  
_Ahem, since that little issue is now cleared up I shall move onto my real question - _  
_regarding you and Nile (in that you are gay together, of course) who exactly is in charge? I mean, who's pitcher and who's the catcher? Who's the numerator and who's the denomenator? Or do you even do it top and bottom? Perhaps you guys do it side to side instead..._  
_Beware Kyoyo, you may have no trouble kicking my ass but I have access to both photoshop, and several pictures of you and Nile, so unless you want your coming out to be real graphic I suggest you play along :P_  
_Sincerely, Zero_  
_PS - Is the Lion King your favourite Disney movie?_

Dear Zero,

No.

No.

NO.

I AM NOT GAY WITH NILE, GINGA, TSUBASA OR RYUGA, AS MANY FANFIC WRITERS THINK.

I AM STRAIGHT.

WE ARE FRIENDS.

Are you really my fans? This is torture.

I prefer the fangirls.

...*SNARL*

SEE ABOVE, YOU SICKO.

...Forget it. *Throws away bey and launcher, takes out knife and goes on a hunt to find ZEROTheConquistador...*

P.S. Regarding your P.S., I AM NOT SIMBA. I AM HUMAN. I WAS RAISED BY HUMANS. IMPRINT THAT FACT IN YOUR TINY BRAIN.

About to become a murderer,

Kyoya Tategami

* * *

_CookieMonsterNin:(*le reading through comments* Nobody likes Kyouya x Ginga_  
_ anymore ._.)_  
_ 1. If you were stranded on a desert island and you could only take one friend_  
_ with you, who would it be and why?_  
_ 2. Since I'm a slash shipper, (and because everyone is asking about Kyouya x_  
_ Nile ._.) who is your little.. *snickers* love muffin? *waggles eyebrows*_  
_ 3. If you didn't have Leone as your bey, which of the other bladers' do you_  
_ think would suit you best?_  
_ All for now!_

Dear Cookie Monster,

I'm glad. I'm straight. Even if I wasn't straight, Ginga would be the last on my list.

1. Hyoma. He has basic survival skills.

2. I don't have one, and even if I did, I wouldn't tell you. *glances at Nile* (AN: I had to imply some KyoyaXNile, it's essential.)

3. As much as I hate to say, it's Doji's dark wolf. Closest to a lion, though too evil for my taste.

I don't hate you that much,

Kyoya Tategami

* * *

_Kyoya admit u r gay and had sex with Nile or ill tell ur Leon u got a new cat and betrayed him and he'll come full force at u w_

_Kyoya I dare u to lik the toilet after gingi used it for 6hr _

_Kyoya Marrie me or else u get it! _

_Kyoya go fuck Nile then do it with a wall !_

_Go kiss Nile and rich his butt! _  
_I'll be bak u know ! w_

Dear Lover,

Let's see. 3 letters so far questioning my sexuality/relationship with Nile.

I AM STRAIGHT. WE ARE FRIENDS. JUST FRIENDS. DO YOU WANT TO BE HUNTED DOWN LIKE ZERO?

I don't mind a new cat. Leone isn't that petty, you know.

I don't accept dares that endanger my health. Sorry. (Not that I am really sorry.)

I'd rather marry Nile, you seem to have problems. (AN: No offense! .)

NO FRIGGIN WAY.

I don't care if you're back, I could kick your ass easily.

Go see a doctor,

Kyoya Tategami.

* * *

_Kyoya tatigami u r gay and admit it hehehahaha_

_Ok I'll make this really easy 4 u_

_Kyoya y does every one think ur out with Nile?_

_Kom on Nile u can do way better and kyoya tatigami u shocked be ashamed of ur self for having sex with Nile _

_Ok kyoya I dare u to_

_Smash lion with a rock and hurt him rally badly then walk to the b pit and stop at the front door rip the top of ur shirt so u can show ur chest and the mess up ur hair then go in _  
_Say hey madoka how u been?_  
_Then just kut to the chase tell her to fix it then when she's screaming at u u push her to a wall and lock lips with her make shur gingis there then push her to the floor and get on top of her and rip her shirt off and keep on lockin lips and then when gingi comes to move u u take Leon from her hand and throw it in the trash and halkon_

_Sorry I got cut off hlkon punch gingi in tha face and tell madoka u lover her and get on one nee and tell her to Marrie u! Muhhaahhaahha_

Dear Lover,

You've already written and your last letter was as disturbing as this one.

I'm str-This isn't going into you guys' heads, is it?

I hope.

As much as I hate to say it, yes. Only one of all my letters so far DOES NOT question my relationship with Nile.

I don't have to be ashamed because I DID NOT.

Sorry, accepting your dare would make me OOC. That would horribly damage Allison's reputation. Actually...I wouldn't mind that much but it might put me out of job.

I'm getting tired,

Kyoya Tategami

* * *

**Allison: So, that's the end! Hope ya enjoyed it!**

**Kyoya: I definitely did not. Is this whole KyoyaXNile thing one of your schemes?**

**Allison: Maybe, maybe not. Anyway, continue the awesome torture letters! I love them**

* * *

**Was he IC? I hope he was, and I hope this was funny. I think I'm gonna abandon my other fic, this was so much fun... **

**P.S. Tell me if I missed out your letter, there's some sort of glitch with the guest reviews thingy...**


	3. Chapter 3

_Dear Kyoya,_

_Do you like Harry Potter? I'll kill you if you don't. And I don't care if this is not related to Beyblade whatsoever._

_Pillowsare4hugs. Remember that._

Dear Pillows,

It's my favorite book. So I stay alive then.

I will...I guess.

Sincerely,

Kyoya Tategami

* * *

_I watch a rematch! Since our last battle ended in a tie, because our Beys are so evenly matched, I want to battle again. I've been training non-stop, and I will beat you this time! No ties this time. This time, only one victor will emerge. And it will be me, Kyoya Tategami. Just remember that, Simba (from the beginning of the movie when he was weak and pathetic, only ever dreaming of becoming king)._

Dear Song,

I accept your rematch. No matter how hard you train, you won't be able to defeat me! I won't go so easy on you this time!

I'll emerge victor,

Kyoya Tategami

* * *

_HI Kyoya!_

_Since you keep telling us you're straight (we don't care what you say on that matter you look cute with Nile.) and I won't accept anti/non or bi it's to hard to work with, who do you like? if you do not give me a name, I WILL do one or one or more of the folowing:_  
_a) Start photoshopping you and many many other people._  
_b)Write a KyoRyugGin threesome with you as uke :)_  
_c)put your and niles dates everywhere I can!_  
_And for anyone who knows about How It Started (my story) I will make you sssooo OOC and Reiji will aper (that one scrambled) you instead of Mandy._

_Also if bladding didn't ezist what game would you play.  
Do you like beyweelz?  
And regarding what you said many times, good luck betting my:  
Black Wolborg  
Dark Leone  
AND Eaborg._

_Love VV_

Dear VV,

I like Nile...

As a friend.

Pwned you,

Kyoya Tategami

P.S. You guys are really disturbing.

P.P.S. Blading isn't a game. It's a career. (Uh, right.)

P.P.P. 's beywheelz?

P.P.P.P.S. Hah. I could beat you easily.

* * *

_Would you please give me an autograph? I'm a big fan of yours! You're my favorite! But I swear, I'm not obsessed and I'm not going to hunt you down or force you to marry me. That is soooooo creepy! I just want the autograph. Please Kyoya-sama? Pretty please?_

_P.S. I know that you will one day beat Ginga, Kyoya-sama, because nobody can beat the Lion. The Lion rules everything in the wild. You'll beat Ryuga one day too. You are the strongest Blader in the whole world. I also know you'll beat Song in your battle._

Dear Kittens,

Sure. *Scribbles '_Kyoya' _on piece of paper* Thanks for being the first ever non-disturbing fan and for not being obsessed with me. I don't...really like obsessed fans much. Anyway, I'm not really looking for a partner right now.

Regarding your P.S. Thank you. My life's goal is to become the world's strongest blader and to do that, I have to defeat Ginga and Ryuga and all the other strong bladers like Song.

Sincerely,

Kyoya Tategami

* * *

_Dear Simba,_  
_Nice try, kitty - I live in IRELAND. IRELAND. VIRTUALLY THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE_  
_Also I'm warning you now if you try to knife me I will enjoy it and it will be disturbing for you as I am far too kinky to torture muahahaha..._  
_I as good as predicted all of the questions would be regarding Nile. Pfft, as if we care about your BLADING skills! God FORBID we ask you something spinning-top related! You shouldn't be that annoyed, however. After all, in just about every single story/ piece of artwork you're always portrayed as the dominant one._  
_That will only remain so until the dawn of my magnum opus, entitled 'Kyoya Gets Fisted'._  
_Also, this 'Lover' person is AN EVIL GENIUS_  
_I cannot stop laughing..._  
_Anyway, I'll be waiting for you, my love, with a can of whipped cream_  
_Sincerely, Zero_

Dear YOU SUCK (That's my new nickname for you; like it?),

I have a GPS. Hah, beat that.

Oh really? *takes out torture machine* Let's see how you-

Allison: KYOYA! DID YOU STEAL MY TORTURE MACHINE?!

OH SHIT.

NO I DIDN'T! IT WAS THE CAT! /Technically.../

Allison: Fluffy? That naughty boy. Help me get it back and put it back to it's proper place.

Phew. AAAAANYWAY. You saw that knify thing over there? IT'S A TORTURE DEVICE. I MIGHT USE IT IN THE NEAR FUTURE...HAH.

This whole thing WAS supposed to be a bout my blading skills. NOT some torture letter scheme.

Allison: /You shall NEVER know the truth. MUAHAHAHA-/

I- God. GOOD GOD. YOU SERIOUSLY SUCK. LOVER SERIOUSLY SUCK. YOU TWO SHOULD TOTALLY GET TOGETHER AND JUMP OF THE CLIFF. THEN I MIGHT GET SOME PEACE.

Your new nickname is The Sucky Sadist. SCREW YOU.

What the- Oh god. After this whole fiasco is over, I'm moving to the North Pole.

YOU SUCK,

Kyoya Tategami

(AN: Allison is not responsible for all the insults or threats in this letter. Kyoya is. Seriously though, I didn't mean it. Zero, you're awesome.)

* * *

_Dear, Little Lion King, _  
_How are you? (wait, y am I even asking you that. NVM)_  
_No, I ain't gonna asked you about Yaoi or shonen-ai or other things related to BXB/BL, if that's what you're thinking._  
_It scares the heck out of me._  
_Anyway, who do you like better?_  
_Madoka or Hikaru?_  
_or you're actually some guy who's going to be alone forever._  
_or waiting for...y'know. (it better not be a guy. XD)_  
_BTW do you like Pretty Cure._  
_( cuz I saw you wearing it in green colour dress. I'm just asking and I did not do it. Mind you!)_

Dear Hyper,

Fine.

Thank god.

Me too.

WHAT THE-You guys are all the same, are'nt you?

*Sigh* I guess I have to answer that question, don't I?

Hikaru. Madoka is too weird for my taste.

HOWEVER, I DO NOT LIKE AS IN LIKE ANY OF THEM.

Nope, I am not waiting for anyone at the current moment, neither will I be alone forever.

What's Pretty Cure? (Sorry)

Ok...,

Kyoya Tategami

* * *

_I LOVE KYODOKA (Madoka and Kyoya)! Kyoya, please, oh please, oh please, say you do LOVE Madoka! It's a perfect paring, like Dramione! :D_

_You should go up to madoka and say you love her then you guys kiss and all that mushy stuff then date! :D_

Dear Lora (Joey I know it's you),

I don't like Madoka. I don't like Dramione.

At least someone thinks I'm straight,

Kyoya Tategami

* * *

_Your Evil BSF:Dear Kyoya,_  
_Allison made me do this. (DON'T KILL ME) _  
_I think you're cute. But due to the request of Allison..._  
_I dare you to:_  
_1. Eat Ketchup_  
_2. Then drink Pepsi_  
_3. Then mix Laksa and H20 and drink it._

_Also, I can battle you and I WILL WIN. My bro has Rock Leone. I beat him with_  
_Ray Striker. And the torture machine was sponsered by me. _  
_P.S. Allison is planning to ship you with Ginka. Or Ryuga._

Dear Grace (Check my profile for who she is),

*hiss* Really?

Allison: Stop hissing, Kyoya, you sound like Reiji.

Whatever. Anyway...thanks?

WHAT?!

Allison: KYOYA! I just bought the groceries! *opens bag of groceries containing Ketchup, Pepsi, Laksa and H20*

You gotta be shitting me.

Allison: What were you saying about the dare that Grace gave you?

Oh nothing.

Allison: *checks computer screen* Wow...No wonder Grace asked me to buy these weird groceries.

*grimace* I'm gonna have to do it, aren't I.

*Eats ketchup, then drinks Pepsi, than mixes Laksa and H20 and drinks it*

OH YUCK! YUUUUUCK! *retches into the bin*

Hah! Like real. I won't be defeated by the likes of you! Ray Striker sucks, some stupid old unicorn, you might as well use Rarity against me!

...

I DON'T. I WAS FORCED TO WATCH IT BY ALLISON. I AM NOT A BRONY.

Allison: Oh really? But I saw you watching on your laptop the other day...

SHUT UP.

Anyway. I would have know, you sadist.

WHAT?!

Oh I will kill her...

Allison:Kill who?

Nothing. AAAAnyway.

Goodbye,

Kyoya Tategami

* * *

**Not that many torture letters this time. Oh well. Write more next time!**


	4. Chapter 4

_Hello again, little lion king! (why did i bother to say hello?)_  
_Anyway, I did told you that I don't like BXB but this is a question from my sister._  
_She asked you if you're in any relation with Ryuuga or Ginga. and also if you have s** with them. (oh shi-. why?!)_  
_Anyway this is my question._  
_You're a jerk aren't you? XD (admit it!)_  
_and do you really have a bro? _  
_(How could you not know pretty Cure?! Do you want me to show your picture then?XD)_

Dear Hyper,

Hi?

Okay...Younger or older sister?

Hmm...let's see.

_Relationship:The way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected._

Connected? Surely we can't be friends, we MUST be either snogging partners or boyfriends! It's like Newton's law!

SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS. JUST GIVE UP ALREADY.

THAT IS SO DISTURBING.

How am I supposed to know?

Yes, sadly.

Ok? Is it a show or something?

Yeah...See ya,

Kyoya Tategami

* * *

_Thank you Kyoya-sama! You really are the best in the whole show!_

Dear Kittens,

Thanks.

Love,

Kyoya Tategami

* * *

_WHY MUST WE KEEP TYING?! I will keep on battling you until I win! I don't care how many times we tie, I'll never stop until one of us actually wins! And it's gonna be me! You will never extinguish my burning Bey Spirit, and I will beat you Kyoya Tategami. Then I will beat Ginga, and then Ryuuga. I've already beaten all the members of Whang Hu Zhong, Excalibur, Star Breaker, and most of Team Gan Gan Galaxy. I just have you, Ginga, and Ryuuga to beat to prove I'm the best on the world, and I will prove it. And in our next battle, I'll prove that. I'll beat you, then Ginga, and then Ryuuga, because I am the best._

Dear Song,

Never. It will be me, Kyoya Tategami, who will defeat you. Ginga's mine to defeat too. I am his only rival! So don't you dare even think about it, let alone being the best blader in the world!

See you in our next battle,

Kyoya Tategami

* * *

_Me:Hi kyouya-sama! I can't believe I'm writing to you! Have you ever seen Len-kun now by 96neko?! Also,hide me! Ryuuga is after me!_

_Ryuuga:where are you Ellie? Come out so I can kill you!_

Me:O.O kyouya-nii-San! Hide me! Oh here is my dare:

Dare:do all my home work! Mwahahaha! I don't want to cause I hate the 7th grade..

Dear Ellie,

Okay. Ryuga! Come out and face-

Allison: AHHHHH! IT'S RYUGA!

Ryuga: OH SHIT RUN!

OI! I was the one who was supposed to save her!

AAAnyway.

Homework? What is homework?

I live in a world where people play with spinning tops for a living. Don't ask me.

I hate yaoi too,

Kyoya Tategami

* * *

**Yay! Leave a letter for Kyoya!**


	5. Chapter 5

_Once again, thanks for answering my question and my sister's. BTW she's older than me XD. Yeah, it's a show. *cough*Japanesegirlanime*cough* I don't think it's suitable for a guy like you. 3_  
_Question TIME:_  
_Do you have a pet? _  
_Do you really hate your brother?_  
_Who are you and what have you done to Little Lion King?!_  
_Do you really that weird(I shall not be really that mean to describe a person stupid!) in the manga?_  
_Would you sing a vocaloid if i asked you? 3 Heck I will dare you to do it!XD_  
_Dares!_  
_I dare you to sing 'Matryoshka' with Ginga (Zebra and Hashiyan style)_  
_I dare you to sing 'A wonderful cat's life' with your brother (96Neko ver.). (Brother bonding time)_  
_Okay i think that's all. I'm kinda high today after drinking to much. 3_

Dear Hyper,

I guess I should have known. Yeah, I probably wouldn't watch it.

A cat named Fluffy, who is actually Allison's pet, but since she kidnapped me, it's now my pet. We share mutual hate. The only thing both me and Fluffy agree on is the fact that Allison's totally insane.

Yes. He's annoying.

ARGHH! I'm not a lion, for Celest-god's sake!

Hmph. I'm not weird, I'm awesome. (Allison:Not.)

...I FRIKKIN HATE ALLISON-

People involved: *sings*

Camera hidden in a corner watching their every move and recording it: /MUAHAHAHA/

Well, at least no one saw th- WHAT THE HECK WHAT IS THAT ON YOUTUBE?!

Allison: Wow! One million hits ALREADY!

~Dear viewers, this letter has been cut short due to Kyoya suffocating himself under the torture machine and having to be taken immediately to the hospital. We apologize for the inconvenience caused and hope you co-operate with us during this troubled time.~

* * *

_Dear Kyoya,_

_I KNOW YOU'RE A BRONY! I CAUGHT YOU SAYING 'YAY I LOVE MLPFIM' THE OTHER DAY. AND THEN YOU WERE SINGING THE MLPFIM THEME SONG. AND THEN YOU STARTED DANCING. AND THEN YOU STARTED SQUEALING. AND THEN YOU STARTED TRYING TO IMITATE RAINBOW DASH._

_Pillowsare4hugs. Remember that._

Dear Pillows,

WTH WHO THE HECK ARE YOU?! HOW DID YOU GET INTO THE HOUSE?!

GO AWAY, YOU BURGLAR! *takes out bey and launcher*

P.S. I won't remember. MUAHAHHA-

DIE, BURGLAR, DIE,

Kyoya Tategami

* * *

_Me:uh... Thanks Allison! Aw man! Kyouya-sama is so lucky! No homework? I wish I lived in your world... Any way I want to know why everyone pairs you with guys all the time! I find it very disturbing!(no offence to yaoi writers)! I went to camp this summer and I met some group of girls that would not stop talking about yaoi! I ended up avoiding them all of camp, thankfully. Do ya want to know why ryuuga-sama was after me? I have this gigantic line of stories pairing him with Hikaru... But hey, at least it's a straight pairing! Ryuuga Is the lucky one out of the two of you... It actually rare that I see a ryuuga yaoi! You and Nile... Not so much. Well I got to go to the doctors for a follow up,I was in a car accident and got a serious concussion,had short memory loss,and a dislocated shoulder*shudders*... That was painful,of course I was 'unresponsive' half the time. Bye-bye Kyouya-sama!_

_From you non yaoi loving fan, _  
_Ellie_

Dear Ellie,

Allison:Hmm...I get the feeling you want to be saved by Kyoya only. *Snaps fingers* *Ellie gets put into a high tower surrounded by a lava moat with firebreathing dragons as its inhabitants* Okay Kyoya, do your stuff!

WTH?! Let me finish this letter first.

AAAnyway. Yep. Who needs education when you can have spinning tops?

Yes! Someone who's on my side, finally! *high fives*

LOL. Hey, let's start a club! We'll call it...PEOPLE WHO HATE YAOI CLUB! WOO! PWHYC!

*gasp* RyugaXHikaru? Finally I get to tease Ryuga about a pairing. HAH! TAKE THAT!

Yeah...I envy him, and also that is ONE OF THE MAIN REASONS I DON'T GET ANY TEASING MATERIAL ON RYUGA. Thanks to you, my friend, I now have.

Whoa. That must've hurt. Get well soon.

See ya.

To my awesome non yaoi loving fan,

Kyoya Tategami

Allison:OI! YOU STILL HAVE A ELLIE TO SAVE!

OH SHIT.

WHYYY?! WHYYY?!

* * *

_Oi kyoya_  
_Don't even ask me why the bloody hell I'm here. I don't know either (I don't like beyblade). What the hell is it with you and Nile anyway? That's... just gross. It's so wrong on so many levels. Or maybe it's the fact I don't like beyblade. My brother does. How can a TOY do that much damage. It's stupid. _

_Anyway, I'll get to the point of this. I dare you to go tell Ryuuga he's gay and challenge him to a battle, kick his arrogant ass (you can try) and bitch slap Ginga for me before you write back. And hell yeah, challenge me all you want! Who needs a toy top! I'll defeat you with my katana! *draws blade laughing maniacally* I will DESTROY you! Ahahahahahahahahaha!_

_Hate, etErnal_

Dear Eternal,

I won't, trust me.

Why are you even here then?

Oh wait I wasn't supposed to ask.

Sorry.

Whoo! You're welcome to join the PWHYC.

It's not a toy, it's a _toy that can do about as much damage as a tank, bulldozer and machine gun can put together. _Don't ask. I didn't want to be born in this dimension.

Maybe if I find a wormhole I'll move to Equ-Nevermind.

Okay.

Hi Ryuga! You're gay!

Ryuga: Hi Kyoya! Piss off.

I challenge you to a battle.

Ryuga: Nah, I lost my bey.

Okay.

Hi Ginga! *Slaps*

Ginga:Ouch.

That hurt, didn't it?

Hate,

Kyoya Tategami

* * *

_Hey Kyoya,_  
_I'm disgusted. What the heck do you think you're doing, caving into this kind of publicity stunt?_  
_I thought you were different._  
_Let's set those fangirls straight once and for all, okay?_  
_There, is NO WAY that I, NILE am in ANY WAY ROMANTICLLY INVOLVED WITH KYOYA TATEGAMI_  
_I do have standards, after all._  
_Nile_  
_PS Why haven't you accept my friend request on Facebook?_

Dear Nile,

I WAS KIDNAPPED, YOU FOOL. Or would you like to rescue me? I have no idea where this is, though. Use your Ancient Egyptian Powers.

Everyone's different. If I wasn't different I wouldn't have green hair or scars or DNA or-

Allison: WE GET IT! MOVE ON!

Okay, okay.

Great! Here's your PWHYC badge! *reaches into container*

Wait.

What do you mean standards?

I'M KIDNAPPED HELP,

Kyoya Tategami

Regarding your P.S.,

Hmmm. Let's see.

**Kyoya **has accepted **Nile**'s friendship request. +

Fangirl 1: ZOMGZ THAT'S LIKE SO CUTE ARE YOU DATING?

Fangirl 2: AHHHHHHHHHH! ALERT WBBA! SLASH COUPLE ON THE LOOSE!

Fangirl 3: *waves yaoi posters*

That's why.

* * *

_Hey Kyoyo!_  
_More letters than you will ever dream of! Jello, bitch?_  
_Love and ice cream,_  
_Yuu_

Dear Yu,

You are seriously the most annoying person in the whole galaxy. Please, stay far, far away from me.

Thank you,

Kyoya Tategami

* * *

**Please IGNORE THE CRAPPINESS/OOCNESS OF THE ABOVE CHAPTER. I was half asleep when I wrote this. **

**Kyoya: I hate you, making me seem like a melodramatic emo guy.**

**You _are _a melodramatic emo guy. **

**Kyoya: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY?**

**Stuff. Anyway. Leave a letter in the reviews, and it better be torturing! .^**


	6. Chapter 6

**Good news guys! I just found out something: I'm allergic to crabs. Found out in courtesy of breaking out in rash all over my body. **

* * *

_I will beat you. I guarantee it, because you're the only Blader I can tie with. Any other Blader I've battled, I've beaten. I've been climbing up the ladder of the world strongest Bladers, ranking myself above them, and now I only have three left, and you will be taken down one by one. First you, then Ginga, then Ryuuga, and I will win. Nothing can stop me. You get stronger, I'll get twice as strong, you get faster, I'll become twice as fast, you gain endurance, I'll battle until I die, you get better, I'll be the best. And it won't matter how you feel, anyone can become strong if they try, and I never get up._

Dear Song,

Never. Only one person can stand in the place of the strongest, and that person is me. The day I'm defeated by you, is the day I quit Beyblade!

Kyoya Tategami

* * *

_HI Kyoya!_

_What's your opinion on Canada?  
Also you should find some airplane tickets, I'll meet you in Ottawa:) Okay, have fun wandring in Chicgo airport for 7 fuckin' hours opps did I say hours I meant min. also the petza is awesome there! have fun and don't worry there's lots of bladders in Canada, like me!_

_Love VV_

Dear VV,

Nice place, beautiful scenery. Especially when it snows.

Nah, I'm being held hostage right now, so I don't think I can make it.

Or maybe….ALLISON! CAN WE GO TO OTTAWA?

Allison: What do you think you're doing, wanting to got to Ottawa when there are letters to write and a reputation to keep?

Just sayin'. Maybe when my non-existent relatives pay the ransom, I can go.

Allison: You better tell them to hurry up with the ransom. My food is running out on feeding you, you know!

Your kidnapping, your problem. AAAnyway, I'll try to see you there.

I don't think my Non-existent relatives even care…..,

Kyoya Tategami

* * *

_Halloo! ( )  
Thanks for doing the dares. Hmm, maybe I should make a video out of that... Nah, I'm to lazy. Okay, I swear I didn't post that on Youtube! 0.o  
Are you okay?o.0  
Sure you are! :D  
Lalalalalalalala Here's a question._

I forgot... W8 here it is!  
Do Titi hate you?  
Do you watch K?  
*Warning: Ha! Fooled 's no warning watch at your own risk.*  
Do you know that the seiyuu of Ryuuga is Mikoto?! o.0 I freak!  
Hey, Hey, Hey! Would you pick Pokemon or Digimon? (You better pick Digimon XD)  
Till then, Stay well, Little Lion King! XD

Dear Hyper,

Hmph. I still haven't forgotten about that fiasco you caused.

OH GOD I CAN'T STAY ANGRY WITH YOU. YOU SEEM SO SWEET.

Of course you didn't post that on YouTube. It was so obviously Allison, although she denies it.

Allison: Accusing me when I feed you and put up with your presence in MY house-

AH-EM. You were the one who kidnapped me in the first place, you can hardly blame me for stealing all your chips.

AAAnyway. I guess I'm okay, excluding the fact of total humiliation.

I don't know…You should ask him. O.O

Nope. What's it about?

*gasp* Ryuga is voice acted by a girl?!

OH LOL. MUST WRITE DOWN IN OFFICIAL BOOK OF EMBARASSING STUF ON RYUGA! (BOESOR for short.) LOLOL-

Meh. Digimon.

Thanks.

Forgiven,

Kyoya Tategami

* * *

_My darling Kyoya!  
Are you enjoying being everyone's first gay experience?  
Love, Jack xxx_

Dear Jack,

NO. NO, I AM NOT, YOU UTTER MORON.

P.S. Your lipstick makes you look like a girl.

Kyoya Tategami

* * *

_Dearest Kyoya,  
I have decided to accept the fact that you are not actually gay with Nile.  
So I have taken it upon myself to set up a profile for you on a gay dating website.  
Good luck finding true love!  
Love, Zero_

Dear Zero,

OH FINALLY. FINALLY, THE MOST MORONIC OF ALL MORONS HAS SUCCUMBED TO SENSE.

WHAT?!

Allison: Kyoya? Why has my friend called to ask 'Little Lion King' for a date? Is this your doing?

URGH! Just-LEAVE ME ALONE!

I hate you. I really, really hate you.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TAKE YOUR LETTER WRITING EQUIPMENT AMD THROW IT DOWN A 600 STOREY BUILDING SURROUNDED BY LAVA AND ENDERMEN,

Kyoya Tategami

* * *

_Kyouya Tategami,_

What is your middle name? Just askin'.

Are you SURE you aren't gay with Nile? It seems like it...

Who would you rather work for? The Dark Nebula or HD Academy.

Now I have a dare for you: ADMIT TAHT YOU LIKE NILE, DAMMIT!

If you admit it, people would probably stop bugging you about the Nile/you situation. :)

Please don't kill me,

Savior

Dear Savior,

Japanese names have no middle names.

Not that I wouldn't like a cool sounding one, like Fang or something….

Kyoya Fang Tategami. AWESOMENESS ENSUES.

Allison: Sounds pretty stupid to me.

Go away. AAAnyway.

YES. I'M 120% SURE. IN FACT, I'M SO SURE, SOMEONE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN IN THE GUINESS WORLD RECORDS RIGHT NOW.

God, people. Stop it. STAHP IT.

Dare: Denied. Because I DON'T LIKE NILE.

Some people must INSIST on being so persistent it gets annoying.

And no, I don't think they will STAHP IT like I said.

I don't do murder.

Though I might just make an exception for a certain Conquistador…*coughZerocough*

AAAnyway.

I'M SURE,

Kyoya Tategami

* * *

_Me:thanks for saveing me,kyouya-sama! Pwhyc? That sound like some thing I would join! Well good news,I have passed my bill of health! But I also am kinda still mad at that jerk who was drunk and decided to drive anyway! Oh,and I am getting two new kittens on Tuesday! Their names are Maria and claire! Nile,welcome to the pwhyc! Our first order of business is to ... Um... Make a pledge never to make a yaoi story! I'm glad im not at camp any more cause those yaoi shippers watched beyblade and shipped you with benkie,Nile,even yu! It was very disturbing. 2 of them were in my cabin and they drew very disturbing things about you and Nile. but one of them shipped Hikaru and ryuuga! I looked at those pictures only! Also,here's some more blackmail on ryuuga! I'm also highly talented on drawing!_

Ryuuga:*comes in and slams door,and locks it.* that was so scary!

Me:O.O kyouya,do you have a camera on ya?

Ryuuga:go away.

Me:Well time to go eat dinner! Seeya! Oh before I leave,do you watch tmnt?! I totally love how Ralph acts! Oh and when's your birthday?

Dear Ellie,

Uh, no problem. *subconsciously glances at dragon bites and lava burns*

Great! I'll add you to the joining list!

PWHYC Members

Kyoya

Ellie

Eternal

Nile

Anyone else? The criteria: Hate Yaoi

Congrats! Yeah, that guy was pretty inconsiderate. Could have avoided a lot of suffering for both him and you….

That's cool. I've always wanted some sort of pet….Just too busy saving the world to think about it. Just for the record, my definition of 'pet' doesn't extend to balls of flesh covered in tangled gray fur.

Allison: Fluffy is NOT A BALL OF FLESH COVERED IN TANGLED GREY FUR! And this is MY HOUSE, So you put up with MY PETS! Ingrate, to think I even bother keeping you in comfort…..

Like I said a thousand times, kidnappers take responsibility for their hostages. So it's not my fault that I speak the truth.

Good idea. Let's see, what about:

'We, the members of PWHYC, pledge to never, in our whole life, like yaoi or make a yaoi story. Those who do shall be suspended from PWHYC and will never darken our doorstep again. If we make a yaoi story, may we be struck by lightning in a dark, stormy day filled with horrible things.'

How's that? Pretty good, huh? I know, I'm a born poet.

Allison: That. Was the horriblest pledge ever. I can't believe something that horrible could even be written. Congrats, Kyoya, you win the Guiness World Records on Horriblest Pledge Ever. *scribbles down letter to GWR*

Shaddup.

Wait. They shipped me with BENKEI AND YU?! WTH?!

The world is wrong minded. THE WORLD IS MENTALLY WRONG. AGGGH-

AHA AWESOME DRAWINGS BRO!

You are officially co-founder of PWHYC! *hands co-founder badge*

Enjoy your dinner!

To my awesome co-founder,

Kyoya Tategami

* * *

_Hey kyoya just so you know I hate yoai too though some pairings can be funny like ginga x ryuga but you and nile kill me.  
Okay here is a question what the hell were you laughing at in your battle with ryuga it creeped me out more then ryuga getting the possessed and that made me scream  
And lastly how come you've only used king lion furious blast shot once you couldve beaten ginga easily with it and you couldve made like a true king lion furious blast shot why did you waste it on reverse wind thrust I'm not saying it's weak but really if it's worth doing it's worth over doing  
by makeanotherone  
PS what does your name mean because I heard ryugas name means actually believe it or not dragon fang so does your name mean anything like lion something and by the way here's some teasing I heard ryugas last name is kishatu use your imagination  
PSS how do you put up with benkei  
PSSS how did it feel when ryuga um absorbed your power I suppose_

Dear Anonymous,

WOO-HOO! *hands PWHYC badge*

And you're added to the list!

PWHYC Members

Kyoya

Ellie

Eternal

Nile

Anonymous

You should give me a name though…..But that doesn't matter! Welcome, member!

Meh. I don't care about other yaoi, I just hate yaoi involving me.

If you pay attention to the plotline and characterization of the show, I am basically crazy. Thus any crazy behavior I commit is explained by my craziness. I am only uncrazy now because of sedation pills administered to me by Allison and Fluffy's combined strength.

I had already used up all my strength, so I had no strength to produce such a powerful special move.

My name means mane, I'm guessing it's like a lion's mane or something? I don't know…..

Kishatu. He kisses shat. OwO

I simply count down from 10. Works every time.

I can't really remember because of the coma after that. O.O I'm guessing it wasn't pretty…..

AAAnyway,

Welcome to PWHYC,

Kyoya Tategami

* * *

_The boy you punched in the hall today. Committed suicide a few minutes ago.  
That girl you called a slut in class today. She's a virgin.  
The boy you called lame. He has to work every night to support his family.  
That girl you pushed down the other day. She's already being abused at home.  
That girl you called fat. She's starving herself.  
The old man you made fun of cause of the ugly scars. He fought for our country.  
The boy you made fun of for crying. His mother is dying._

Dear Cora,

I completely agree.

Kyoya Tategami

* * *

**Hehe! How was that!**

**Kyoya: I completely hated it. **

**Meh, no one cares about your opinion. Go back to your room. Anyway, if you liked it, leave a letter in the reviews box! OwO **

**Signing off, Rainbow Pie aka Allison aka Adeline aka AB**

**P.S. I'm thinking of doing a comic version of this! What d'ya think? **

**(Just to asses my drawing skills: #/d5l21um)**


	7. Chapter 7

Hi guys! Sorry for not updating for so long and this is still not an update... *hides from angry fans* Anyway, I have good news and bad news.

The bad news is that I am putting this fic on hiatus. SORRY!

The good new is, the reason I am putting this fic on hiatus is because I am creating a COMIC FORM OF LETTERS TO KYOYA! *screams and fireworks shoot out of nowhere*

The comic will be posted on deviantart and tumblr, so do check it out! I assure you, it'll be awesome! When I'm done with the first few strips, I'll post the link as another chapter, and yes, I know I can't post links, but I have ways and means to do that.

Thank you all for putting up with my slow update and I assure you that the comic will be posted ASAP! Once again, thank you so much!

As an ending note, review about what you think about the comic! :)

-Allison


	8. Chapter 8

Hello dear readers! I have awesome news- THE BLOG IS UP! So, drop your asks in the ask section and Kyoya will answer them! :D

askkyoyaembarassingstuff%tumblr%com

(As if you didn't know, but replace the % with .)

Love and Sonic Rainbooms,

Allison


End file.
